So I’m writing this today, today out of all days when I’m depressed and I feel like despair is eating me alive. Right now, I don’t feel like I’m in control of my life, and I hate it. I’ve tried to keep my options open, and try to do as many things as I can, only to realize that I am spreading myself way too thin, and now, I don’t feel in control. If you know an ESTP like me, this is VERY! IMPORTANT! ESTPs are not going to wait for the next good thing to happen in their lives, because they don’t do waiting. They go out and make it happen for themselves. So if you’re a friend of an ESTP, here are some tips you can do to cheer them up (or not make them any more depressed than they already are!)
- Don’t tell them what to do. Seriously, it won’t help.
- Don’t tell them “Things will be better,” because it just gives them a sense of how much they’re NOT IN CONTROL of their lives.
- Distract them. ESTPs would normally choose to be happy, and they don’t like dwelling too much on things they can’t do anything about, so if you give them something else to focus on, that should keep their attention away from whatever’s stressing them.
- Leave them alone. If whatever’s stressing them is a problem or a challenge that they can do something about, leave them alone to solve it. They know they need to solve it to shake off the depression. What you can do is provide encouragement and let them know you’re there in case they need help! Don’t impose on them with your presence. They want to feel that they have a say in who they surround themselves with. Which brings me to point number 5…
- If you’re a friend of an ESTP, don’t take things personally. ESTPs are very blunt and very practical. Sometimes, they say hurtful things (I think), but they don’t intend to hurt you or insult you. They want to stick to what’s true and they’re not going to be subtle about it. It would help if you don’t get overly sensitive about whatever your sad ESTP friend is saying, or just stay away if you can’t handle it.
- Listen to them. If you’ve gotten past step 5, and you’re still friends with your ESTP person, then be a good listener, because sometimes, that’s all they really need. (Of course, don’t expect them to be as good at listening as you. ESTPs are doers. They jump to problem solving when given the opportunity)
- Surprise them… in a good way. While we love control, we don’t particularly hate good surprises.
- If you’re the ESTP, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. There is no greater joy for us ESTPs than to know we took care of our own shit. Go shopping or eat ice cream, or do whatever makes you happy. Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy, because 1) you might end up disappointed, 2) you’d find that it’s so much more satisfying to do it yourself. So stop sulking, go out there, and get it done.
ESTPs rarely have their downtimes, but when they do, they become extremely out of character. Just being understanding and supportive the way ESTPs need support would show that you care :) Just knowing that someone has our back especially on our bad days would mean the world to us.-HANA