I had a good cry today. And I already look like Kim Yuna from all the crying, my lids have lost its folds. While it’s amazing to walk out of my room looking like Kim Yuna, I can’t without getting interrogated by my parents. So I’m stuck here til they’re not swelling anymore like hell.
Today, I’m letting go of memories. I never really saw the need for it. I used to think throwing memories is a waste, especially when they’re good memories. But now I understand so many things. Like why people choose to lock memories away until they’re not hurt by it anymore. And why people choose to be strangers after a relationship ends. No one wants to hurt. It’s so logical, and I can’t believe it took me so long to understand.
So I said goodbye to my babies, and then some more memories I can’t afford keeping anymore. It’s so painful to be the only one interested in holding on to these.
To Mallows and Patch,
You’re big now :(( We’ve been together for so many years, and I’m sorry I can’t keep you anymore without feeling hurt. You used to mean so much to us, to me, but now you don’t anymore, and that doesn’t mean I love you any less. It’s just that Dearest (me) has to move on, too, and choose to not be hurt anymore. Please always stay together. Don’t fight. Please be good, you guys. I can’t take care of you guys anymore, and I don’t know when we’ll meet each other again. I hope you will have a good pamily adopt you and take care of you well. I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to keep you and not break down at the sight of you. I love you. Til then.-HANA