I wish I could write something that would show you guys how sincerely happy I am, recalling the big day of my best friend, and the happiness that she radiated when she was with her husband, with everyone she loves celebrating with her. I’ll try, but it’s not going to be easy.
Standing at the doors of the Immaculate Conception Cathedral with the rest of the entourage, I was calm and my emotions were at bay. It was only when I saw my best friend, looking the most gorgeous I’ve seen her, and smiling back at me, making me feel like she’s won the biggest lottery ever, brought my emotions to chaos. In less than a minute, I was fanning my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying, reminding myself every time a tear dared freefall from my eyelids that my mascara could run, and that my raccoon-eyes will forever be remembered through their wedding photographs. I called for one of the wedding coordinators and said, “Girl, can I have a tissue please?” I was almost so sure I’m going to cry, but I couldn’t understand why. And cry I did, after walking the aisle, upon seeing the door of the cathedral slowly open, with my bestfriend at the entrance, her bouquet of flowers held with two hands, and started walking ever so confidently to a choice she has happily made.
This maid-of-honor regrets missing seeing the beautiful bride walk down the aisle, for my eyes were already clouded with tears, and half the time, they were buried in layers of folded tissue. Dab dab dab I go, just to keep the tears from ruining my makeup, from streaming down my cheeks like wildfire. I knew at that moment that I was genuinely happy for her, because she’s happily making a decision I don’t see myself ever making in the near future. Feeling ko, ako na ang umiyak para sa kanya. Kung tears of joy ito, ang dami kong tuwa.
|Me and my Boyfriend @ the wedding reception|
During the wedding reception, I had to give a wedding toast. I’m not very good at being spontaneous, so I had my own outline, or more like, a small notebook with every word I’m supposed to say written down, waiting to be read. My advice to the newly weds went something like,
“Allow me to borrow a few lessons in life and love from some of my favorite animated movies.
In the Disney Classic, Beauty and the Beast, Belle taught me that unrealistic expectations of the couple from one another could bring about disappointment and dissatisfaction in the relationship. But love chooses to look past our differences, and lets us see the beauty in one another. Alone, you could become grumpy and lonely, just like Beast was. But together, you are the best.
In SHREK, Fiona taught me that happy ever afters do not come without challenges. In the movie, Fiona, who was a human princess, loved the ogre, Shrek. Instead of choosing Prince Charming, she decided to become an ogre instead to be with Shrek. Fiona showed me that love changes us: it changes us in ways not most people expect us to, but it changes us to become what the other person needs.
And lastly, from one of my favorite movies ever, UP, Mr. and Mrs. Fredricksen taught me, in their eight-minute love story, that love is not about the grand gestures and monumental moments. It’s about the little things, and being happy in the companionship of one another.
To Jus and Paul, may you live and love, happily ever after.”
And Justine also gave a short message to all the guest before the wedding reception ended, recalling that time I was asking her if she was sure about getting married. She said to the guests, “I realized that marriage should not be a hindrance to do the things you want and to pursue your dreams. Love makes you stronger, and I’m so happy to have made this decision, to marry the man who gives me strength.“
I wanted to understand, and I think I did, but at the same time, everything was just a blur. I couldn’t believe that after an hour and a half-long ceremony, that’s it, my best friend’s married for life. From now on, her family comes first. I’m probably sad because at the core of all this dramu, I’m just being selfish about this. I love her and will support her and her family, but I will miss being with her, and hanging out anytime we feel like, spending our money on things that don’t matter, malling, and bitching, and having fun to no end. I know I’m being overly dramatic (like I usually am, har har), but I just can’t believe that at 22, she’s moved on with her life. She’s done enjoying singlehood, and now, all her decisions would be for her family. Does she want to buy this dress? Wait, she’ll think about the weekly budget first. Does she want to sign up for a gym membership with me? How about doing the household chores, instead?
And me. This has all made me feel like I’ve been left alone. She’s moved on with her life, while I haven’t even decided on what to do with mine. My friends are maturing so fast, getting married, having kids, and I feel bad not knowing if it’s them that’s moving too fast, or me that’s moving too painfully slow.
Hey friend, if you’re reading this, I want you to know I’m really, really happy for you. Sorry if I’m being my usual selfish brat-self, but I hope you’d still have time to hang out with me despite more important commitments in your life. You owe me one photoshoot and one convention, so don’t you dare forget about that. I know no other person or nothing else, not even all the fame and fortune you could ever dream of earning by becoming a performer, will overcome the happiness of being with Paul. I’ll always be praying for your happiness, and will always be here for you. :)
Tears run dry, me still confused. Why am I crying again? -ED